


No Woman Has Ever Found Peace In A Taxi

by drpinkky



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV)
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene, this is netflix!kit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-09 02:42:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17398493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drpinkky/pseuds/drpinkky
Summary: I'm Here To Give The Taxi The Character It Deserves





	No Woman Has Ever Found Peace In A Taxi

Much like a city mouse displaced into the country, a taxi cab will not do well in the mountains. Not to say it cannot function, but without the luxuries of paved roads and comfortable temperatures, a taxi cab will often struggle when it is out of its element. 

Particularly when it is out of its element, alone, for several days. 

If you were left alone in the cold for that long, you would, quite understandably, likely be angry with whoever left you alone in the cold. So when Kit Snicket returned to the taxi from the depths of the Mortmain Mountains with Mr. Poe in tow, she approached it a smile which some might describe as apologetic. 

“Here we are, Mr. Poe.” She patted the hood of the taxi fondly.

“Wonderful,” he coughed. “Now can we _please_ get inside? It’s incredibly cold out here and I don’t want those bugs to come back.” 

Kit ignored his comment. Instead, she checked the cab for any new marks. Jacques, despite his propensity for overly cautious driving within The City, managed to accrue quite a few scratches and dings during his time in the cab. Since Olivia Caliban passed on his keys at the Caligari Carnival, however, the cab hadn’t shown any new marks, despite the rough terrain. 

Kit chuckled to herself and glanced at the scratch above the keyhole on the driver’s side door as she unlocked the car. Memorable because it was the first scratch on the car and Jacques himself made it, accidentally digging his key into the paint after two hours of sleep. Kit teased him for years about it, how worried he was about the look of the car, and managed to do exactly what he warned against.

A sharp cough brought Kit out of her memories. She quickly slid behind the wheel and closed the door after her. 

“I was worried you froze out there,” Mr. Poe said. He held _The Walrus and the Carpenter and Other Poems_ by Lewis Carrol and _The Waste Land_ by T.S. Eliot in his lap. 

“No, just thinking,” Kit said. She inserted the key into the ignition and turned on the car. Or tried to. “You can put the books in the back seat,” she said as she tried the ignition again. Nothing. 

“Is everything alright?” Mr. Poe asked as he did as Kit suggested.

“Yes.” Some noise with this attempt. Promising. “She’s just a little grumpy.” She tried again. Slightly more of a response. “Come on, girl. Don’t make me go back outside.”

“I’m sorry, _she?_ ” He asked when he returned to the seat. 

Kit nodded. _I’ll get out after this one._ “My brother started it.” She turned the key, and at the mention of Jacques, the cab came to life. “There we go!” She rubbed the dash affectionately. “He also named her, but I don’t remember what he decided on.”

“That is a ridiculous thing to do,” Mr. Poe said. 

“Many people do it.” Privately, Kit agreed with him, but she was the only one who could say that about her brother. She turned up the heat and pulled away from the mountains. 

 

Shockingly, a man more concerned with his position at his bank than the lives of the children he oversees rarely makes for a good conversational partner. Particularly on interminably long car rides.

“Can we put on the radio?”

“No,”

Mr. Poe let out a cough which suggested disappointment. Kit sighed. 

“My brother’s the only one who ever got it working. He installed it.”

“You should tell him to install a new one, better, the next time you see him,” Mr. Poe offered, helpfully. As though Kit hadn’t thought of that. As though she hadn’t tried on several occasions to do just that. This wasn’t the first time Mr. Poe made a comment about Jacques without knowing he was dead, but each time, he got deeper under Kit’s skin. The cab clearly agreed. Whenever Mr. Poe opened his mouth, she started rattling. If he didn’t stop soon, Kit worried she’d rattle something loose. While she understood the urge to just fall apart, Kit couldn’t afford the delay that would come with any kind of repairs. The next time he decided to say something, she resolved, she’d tell him Jacques was dead.

A blunt approach to revealing the death of a loved one tends to stop any conversation in its tracks, and it worked especially well on Mr. Poe. They spent the end of the drive without another mention of her brother. All the better to focus on the burnt out shells of the houses around them. 

When they arrived at Mulctuary Money Management, Mr. Poe got out of the cab before it came to a full and complete stop. He rushed into his office as Kit took her time to stand and regain her land legs. She and the cab sighed in unison as she stretched and looked around The Financial District. Jacques had done something to the driver’s seat which made it nearly impossible for anyone else to comfortably drive the cab, particularly if that person is pregnant. 

“We’ll get that figured out, huh?” Kit said aloud. The cab creaked a little. “Not right now, don’t worry.” She patted the hood and looked up at the imposing architecture of the bank. “Bet it feels better to be back in The City, huh?” The car didn’t respond, but Kit figured it was a good turn from the Hinterlands.

Kit walked up the stairs to the entrance to the bank. As she opened the door, she paused and glanced back at her cab. 

“We’ll be out of here soon,” she said, “hopefully.” 

One can never be too sure in situations this urgent. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Twitter at drpinkky  
> I'm on Tumblr at drpinkky and lesbianscieszka  
> title from a screenshot a friend sent me! its from Midnight
> 
> anyway This is what happens when you say a car will become a minor character and then not only not deliver on it but then also SUCK all of the preexisting character out of a car from the LATE FORTIES im still mad about how they did that just because Old Cars Have Character!


End file.
